


You've been scared of love..

by Dimple_Swag_Joonie



Series: B.B.S Fuck Yeah! [3]
Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: A suicide letter, Angst, Drabbles, I Fucked Up Again, I hate me, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not Happy, We need fluff and smutt, brohm, i cried, its not even that bad, not angsty shit, yay!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:36:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dimple_Swag_Joonie/pseuds/Dimple_Swag_Joonie
Summary: And what it did to you...
[NEW THINGY; Writing 1 drabble for 25 days. MERRY CHRISTMAS!]





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary from a song by the Weeknd and Daft Punk.

Ryan pulled into the garage, clutching the small blue felt box in his shaking hand. Today he was going to finally propose to his love and partner for 5 years, Bryce.

He received a text earlier from Bryce and his poor baby told him he felt unwell. Ryan was 200% sure this would lift his spirits.

He grabbed the flowers from the bag in the back. They were beautifully wrapped in light blue paper with a dark blue ribbon keeping them in place. The flowers in question were pure white roses, water droplets present on a few sweet smelling buds. He exited the car, making sure to lock it and head inside, you can never be too careful.

When he opened the door, everything was quiet. Almost if there hadn't been activity for hours. Which was ridiculous considering Bryce was always at home, too lazy to go shopping or walk the dogs.

Speaking of dogs... Buddy and Ellie were no where to be seen, just like Bryce. The dread Ryan felt crawling up his neck exploded as he made his way sharply into the living room. The pets and Bryce always greeted him when he got home. They never failed to, and nothing was in the living room except a letter on the dark coffee table next to the couch. He ignored it, more interested in finding signs of life. There were none.

His eyes fell onto the white crisp envelope and curiosity pushed into his head. Maybe this would explain why everyone was gone.

He nimbly picked it up, as if the content was fragile china dishes and could break at any moment. It wasn't closed so he had no trouble pulling the letter out. It clearly had Bryces' cursive writing on it so he began to read it, having little idea about the tsunami of lava and emotion bareing above him.

____________

Dear Ryan... Or Ohmwrecker,

Hi. Firstly how was work? And don't worry about feeding Buddy and Ellie. I took care of it. I hope you're feeling okay.

Because I'm not.

It hurts Ryan. 

And not in the way when you forgot my birthday, it turned out alright in the end because we cuddled and watched spongebob. I wish this feeling felt like that. I really do Ryan. I'm scared.

I should have told you sooner but I didn't want you to frett or worry about costs. I was diagnosed with liver cancer about a year ago. I knew I should have told you and I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me OR yourself. 

And yes, I refused treatment because of the price and (I don't think I've told you this before) but I believe that if you are given something that will kill you, then death is inevitable. No matter how strong you are, no matter how happy or rich and good you are. You will die.

Last month I went back to the hospital and was given a few months tops to live before it gets too bad. I wanted to spend my time with you, maybe get married and say I love you a final time in person... but we don't all get what we want.

So if it wasn't clear, Goodbye Ryan. God do I love you. You're perfect in everything and every way.

I love you really and I'm sorry for lying. You'll get over it soon enough.

P.S - Cremate me and scatter me on top of a hill in the middle of know where. But keep some of me for you.

Like a small token, Ryan. A reminder of the tall goofy guy who you gave everything he could ever want.

For that I thank you.

Also I love fresh white roses, so wild and beautiful, they remind me of you. I brought you some earlier, they're in your bedroom. That sounded weird.

And if you're crying, wipe them on my wings, my beautiful Ohmwrecker, because I'm an angel now.

~Bryce McQuaid ☆★☆ ♪

___________

Ryan looked up. 

Then he looked down.

He had unconsciously scrunched up the letter. Wet splotches ruining the ink and spreading it.

He was at a loss for words and a cry for help. He couldn't even sob loudly, to let his emotions out.

It was cruel as the broken man slumped down, his eyes wide and cracking from strain. The tears fell rapidly and continuously.

His body shook and his chest heaved.

It was a joke. Just a joke. Bryce was fine, he didn't have cancer and everything WAS OKAY.

Except it wasn't and his subconscious knew it. Raw emotion poured our, intoxicating him.

He didn't notice the ring box fall.

**Author's Note:**

> Yea.... Angsty brohm is the best brohm.


End file.
